Some weeks later.

This is a quick catch-up post - mostly because I don't want to leave the last post as my greeting-blog for another few months!

It's been three weeks and two days since we lost our little one. I'm doing pretty well. Monday nights and Tuesdays are oddly difficult. I'm sure it won't take much longer to feel completely at peace with the way things are, but like I told Brian - for a month I had two babies: one here and one on the way. Now I don't. So it's taking some getting used-to. That's all.

One more thing before I move on - I have really appreciated having friends and family ask how I'm doing. Usually I answer, "I'm doing well, thanks," and move on to the next subject. But it really, really helps. Something so simple has shown me that people remember. I've had a few folks brush over it to avoid causing pain or discomfort, and I get that. I probably would have done the same thing. But I'm surprised by how comforting it's been to have people ask about the baby: "How are you doing?" I'm going to remember that.

On to different things.

Will turned a YEAR old last week. I am so, so grateful to have had this year. What a tremendous miracle a baby is! We celebrated with a low-key party after church on Sunday.

Over Memorial Day weekend, his learning has exploded. He's saying (or trying to say) car, block, clock, and light. He's signing please and more and he's not only high-fiving but also fist-bumping, thanks to his uncles. : ) He just generally seems more aware and curious. I am surprised by how amazed I am to see him learning. I knew it would be cool, but this is COOL.

We are STILL - yes, still! - on the house hunt. We put in an offer for a grand, enormous house on over a hundred acres. We'll call it Rustic Mansion. It was at the tippy-top of what we could afford, PLUS it needed a ton of updating and the house itself was enormous so maintenance would have been quite the cost as well. It was a fabulous house with a ton of character, but after we put in the offer I began to feel a pit in my stomach whenever I thought of it. I chalked it up to anxiety about whether our offer would be accepted, but I was surprised to be relieved when we were turned down without a counter. I had begun to wonder if we would have been slaves to our home - all our money and work and time going into a place to live.

Two or three weeks later we found another house. We'll call it Cozy Brick Ranch. It had been on the market for months (odd in this market), and when we went to see it we were surprised. It was pristine inside, with an awesome finished walkout basement which made up for the fairly small size of the house. However, it was on a fairly busy road, located pretty much within the city, and we discovered it was being sold due to a cell tower that had been approved to be built on an adjacent lot. Still, we submitted an ambitiously low offer, hoping that their desperation to sell and the length of time it had been on the market would cause them to consider it.

Where Rustic Mansion would have sucked up all our time and effort and money, Cozy Brick Ranch would have been a financial breeze. We fell in love not so much with the house as much as with the idea of having such a low payment and a shorter drive to church.

Well, the weekend passed and no word on Cozy Brick Ranch. We began to wonder if they were seriously considering our offer. Brian was ready to counter-offer higher if needed. On Tuesday, the listing was suddenly disappearing from the real estate sights (or going "Pending"). We wondered - could it be? They've decided to accept our offer with no counter?! NOPE. Turns out another buyer put in a higher offer the same weekend. The sellers of Cozy Brick Ranch decided not to counter anyone but just to accept the higher offer.

We had asked God to close the door on Cozy Brick Ranch if it wasn't his will for us. Truly, through this WHOLE process, we've been asking for God's direction and guidance. He knows we may make mistakes, but we've diligently asked for His will. We prayed that He would close doors if we moved the wrong way. And this may sound odd (because I really, really want our own house!) but I'm SO thankful He's been so faithful to close those doors.

We found another house last night that we love. It's not PERFECT - it's a long drive from church and it's only got three bedrooms. But I walked in and just felt like I could stay there forever. I'll call it Hickory Creek House. We've put an offer in on it today. It's a new listing (four days old) and already has an offer, so we may not get it. If God wants us to have it, we've prayed He'll show us what to do. If we don't get it, I know there's a place for us and we'll be there eventually.

I have to say, though, that living with my family this long has been simply wonderful. It really has. The biggest frustration has just been a lack of space for our growing family's STUFF. Will has a mountain of toys piled up in the family room corner... and my parents don't own an enormous home. They've been so gracious, and I am still loving being with them. It's just that... I'm ready to be on our own. Will is getting used to having people around all the time and I worry that he'll suffer withdrawals from his fun grandparents, uncle, and aunt. What a blessing, though, to be concerned about. : )

Finally, I have to brag on Brian. For most of his life, with the exception of his first three months or so, Will's been waking up once during the night to nurse and fall back to sleep. I had no idea what to do. He could fall asleep on his own with no problems at bedtime. He wasn't a light sleeper. He was eating fine through the day. I didn't feel right about ignoring him, but I also knew that having a broken-up seven hours of sleep was not good for me. Or for him, either.

I began to realize, though, that he wasn't waking up on the nights Brian put him to bed (which were not often because I'm usually home). Turns out Brian was feeding him a bedtime snack and giving him lots of water. I thought an evening nursing session was accomplishing that. But I guess not. I reckon my Little Man was waking up thirsty.

So we cut out the evening feeding (we're actually down to one feeding a day now). I started giving him water and cottage cheese before bed. And for a week straight, Will's been sleeping through the night without an issue.

I realize that in posting that on this blog, I may have jinxed myself. But it's a risk I'll take BECAUSE I am bragging on Brian (NOT myself!) and also offering a potential solution to moms with the same problem who may stumble upon this blog.

That's all for now! I'll keep you all posted on Hickory Creek House. IF it's where we're supposed to live, I fully expect that we'll be living there. Ahhh. If not, then I don't want it. (Isn't it great to trust in the Lord?!)