Thursday night

Last night, Neva had a heck of a time falling asleep. She kept popping off while nursing, just to cry pitifully. I was *pretty* sure she was just overtired (and I think I was right). I'd extended her bedtime quite a bit, trying to fit in bath time and story time for the boys (while trying to troubleshoot with AT&T for a portion of the time- by the end of this week, we should have internet!).

So after popping off to cry for a few seconds, she would latch back on and nurse for a bit, repeating the process over and over. After about ten minutes of this, she slowed her pace and begin to drift off to sleep Her hand no longer frantically played with my shirt. She relaxed in my arms and her breathing slowed. I enjoyed the sight of her still face, her body totally relaxed in my arms, a suited astronaut floating through space.

Then, from his perch at the top of the stairs down the hallway, Bo let out a single, pointless bark. Neva's eyes flew open and she began to cry again. I shushed her and latched her back on; she relaxed. But then, again! Bo let out another pointless bark and woke her a second time. I calmed her crying a third time, and then a third time Bo barked- a solitairy, "curious-but-not-curious-enough-to-get-up-and-see-if-somebody's-here" bark. If it wouldn't have made the problem worse, I would have really hollered at him.

At this point, Neva was now wide awake but surprisingly subdued, perhaps from her three micro-naps. I held her up in front of me and we exchanged smiles. Then, she looked into my eyes and slowly leaned forward, forward, forward, latched onto my chin, and started sucking. Our eyes were inches apart, mine nearly crossed to make eye contact with her. I started to laugh at the funny sensation, the goofiness of her, and she broke off and started to giggle as well. She knew, sure as shootin', that she wasn't nursing. She was joking. She did it a second time, leaning forward, sucking on my chin again. We laughed again, then she rubbed her chubby fists into her tired eyes, her padded arms creased, her body a little fat ball. Once more, a third time, she leaned forward and put her mouth on my mouth. I could tell she was smiling and even though all I could think of was "germs!", I didn't pull away. My daughter was bonding with me.

The moment ended. I repositioned her and nursed her to sleep in about a minute and a half. I laid her little body down and I told her I would see her in the morning.