Friday, November 1, 2019

“these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be”

Oh November, here you are. 

I am succumbing more readily than ever to the season’s insistence to hunker down and disappear. Time used to be that I would blast the Christmas carols come October first, quickened with new energy for the coming season. That’s not me, this year. That girl has vanished. Someone similar to Robert Frost’s “November Guest” has replaced her. I do not like the switch. 

There was no harvest party or fun activity last night for the kids. We stayed in while the snow blew. I could tell they were disappointed; that seems to be the reaction I elicit from them routinely now. 
What are we doing today? 
School, chores, playtime. 
Oh, mannnn.

I have such a fervent desire to focus solely on the positive. I can so easily find it. I can shove away the negative, bury it for later, tell myself I’m crazy, and remind myself to be grateful, for heaven’s sake. And yet, when I find myself cracking more than mending, and someone else confesses that they are struggling, just like me, it is comforting. Maybe someone would like to hear that same reassurance from me?

Oh, I know that no kind person would wish their struggle upon a friend. I suppose I am simply justifying my impulse to complain this morning. I’m currently making my way through Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life; his pragmatic acknowledgement of the struggle of human existence is appropriate for these days of wading through a routine I cannot manage. 

Let’s pull out of this dive, shall we? This November is going to be markedly different than prior years’. I have a single goal for this month, and that is to finish our family’s photo book. 

Okay, I have a thousand other goals- AS ALWAYS- but that is primary. 

Secondarily: patience and joy. 

But the photo book is definitely more important. 

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