Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Focusing on what is important.

Parenting can be such a tricky balance. There is almost never a clear answer.

I'm standing at the kitchen counter right now, handling some Amazon returns, and I'm looking at William at the dining room table, building a LEGO Star Wars set. He's struggling here and there, grunting and huffing. I stand here wondering, should I go sit with him and help? Or is it best to let him figure this out on his own?

Meanwhile, the bottom three are outside. I hear them happily playing, and then occasionally, a scream of indignation from Neva or Mac. And I wonder, should I run outside to help them navigate this disagreement? Or do I let them figure it out on their own?

I tend to hover, control, and say too many things.

I also tend to be distracted, unfocused, always busy.

And I have this bent, as I'm sure others do: when life is a struggle, when things are very hard, I find an escape - something to focus on - besides the problem. Work the problem, I know - but sometimes things feel too big to grapple with, and I need a smaller goal to conquer.

So instead of helping with the LEGO set, or running outside to settle the dispute over the Power Wheels dune buggy - or even instead of figuring out whether or not I SHOULD involve myself - I focus on the Amazon returns. Package them up, print the labels.

I want to focus on the important things, but I often don't know how.

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