PSMF. Easy peasy today. Bloat from the weekend has set in, as well as irritated skin (my body doesn’t react well to sugar), but so has energy from all that food. My afternoon lifting was GREAT; I decided to redo a session from last week in which I’d had fallen quite short, and today I hit all the lifts pretty easily. Broke my fast at dinner with 12 oz. grilled venison steak and a final cup of black iced coffee with some Jordan’s Skinny Syrup. The two keys to fasting are 1. adequate sleep, and 2. stay busy!
Five days until I test my 1RM!
Day 2 (July 30) Weight: 133.6
PSMF. Harder today. Did Insanity Max30 first thing in the morning, which was a good idea, considering my energy lagged as the day went on. A poor previous night’s sleep and a challenging overall day in general, combined with an afternoon-onset headache, led to me sipping some black coffee after dinner, while staring longingly at the bowl of cold watermelon on the table. Now that dinner is over, I’m looking forward to an early bedtime. (Broke my fast at dinner with 3.5 oz. leftover venison, 5.4 oz chicken breast, and 18g collagen in my final cup of coffee.) The third key to fasting: COFFEE.
(It’s usually the second day that the devil on my shoulder starts prodding: why are you doing this? On Day 2, temptations loom everywhere, vacation bloat is still present, energy is lacking, and honestly, there hasn’t been enough “fasting time under my belt” to dissuade me from saying, forget it. Once dinner is over and the day draws to a close, however, there’s never any regret in sticking to the plan.)
Day 3 (July 31) Weight: 129.2
PSMF... ish. Skin has cleared, bloating down. Broke my fast at dinner with 11 oz. braised venison shank and a plain can of tuna, as well as collagen and Jordan’s in my dinner coffee. (Then... half a serving of sweet potato chips and a peach. I justified those carbs by this morning’s unexpected scale dip.) Overall, I felt good today. Fantastic workout (no missed lifts), few tears, and no headache.
Day 4 (August 1) Weight: 128.6
Reverse Day 1 (1200 cal goal). This was a great day- a day for focusing on things more important than nutrition. It was also, however, an untracked day. I’m pretty sure I went over 1200, but not by too much. Brian and I had a couple afternoon appointments to take care of, so my wonderful mom took a workday to babysit. When we finally made it home (unexpectedly late) at 6:30, I broke my fast with an entire watermelon. (Well, almost.) Insanity Max30 in the AM. I’m solidly within my 60kg weight class again, and very excited to test my 1RM on Saturday. My personal powerlifting meet.
Day 5 (August 2) Weight: 129.2
Reverse Day 2 (1500 cal goal). Honestly, another untracked day. Broke my fast at dinner with… dinner (chicken parm casserole). I’ve been trying to get used to Lifesum for tracking macros. It’s not a bad app, and I think I’ll get used to it after a while, but MFP was like breathing, and dozens of my recipes were stored there. But if I really had a meet tomorrow, weigh-in would have been this morning, and I would’ve nailed it, and I would’ve been going heavier on the carbs tonight anyway. No workout today, just resting for tomorrow.
I’m looking forward to crushing some numbers tomorrow. I definitely think I’ve made progress in bench. In May, my form was dismal and I couldn’t get comfortable with getting full-body tension until Brian showed me a different way to position my feet and... yes! My squat progress... meh. I’ll be happy if I can hit the same number I could in May. As I’ve leaned out, my squat seems to have suffered most. But as for my deadlift, I’m really hoping for an increase. I’ve worked hard for it.
Day 6 (August 3) One-rep max test day!
Wow. Talk about disappointing.
Here were my numbers in May (~138 lb bodyweight):
Squat: 225 lb.
Bench: 150 lb.
Deadlift: 265 lb.
Here were my numbers today, after another 9-week prep block (~130 lb bodyweight):
Squat: 225 lb. (failed 230)
Bench: 150 lb. (failed 155)
Deadlift: Attempted 265 and then 255. I could barely get either of them off the floor an inch.
So... stayed the same, except for my best lift, which got weaker.
Oh, gosh. When I struggled with that last 255, I felt like crying. Which would be stupid. I did not cry. But I’m not exactly sure where to go from here. Here are my random thoughts. Am I too old to gain strength? I’ll be 32 this September. Maybe I’ve peaked. If so, I certainly haven’t peaked at a competitive spot. So there won’t be any meet in my future. Still, I can’t say this was wasted effort. It was hard work; it did something. Maybe it kept muscle mass while I leaned out. It wasn’t wasted. Was this week’s PSMF too depleting? I certainly felt good during my workouts. I hardly slept on Thursday night- Will couldn’t sleep and kept panicking, so I laid next to him as he talked to me all night- maybe that caught up with me today (Saturday). I’ve been all over the map emotionally lately; maybe this wasn’t a good time to go for new strength goals. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
You spend so much time on something and it ends abruptly, without the outcome you expected. That’s life.
I’m going to have to reassess my goals; I don’t want to lose sight of more important things. Fitness should enhance my life, not make me feel like a failure. This wasn’t failure - it was feedback. That’s all.
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