Life is flying by, and I love it. I've heard others lamenting the interminable length of these winter months, but my head is spinning. Winter is almost over.
I haven't minded this winter. Something broke over the holidays; the fog of sadness hanging like a cloud throughout the fall was blown away. January came with freshness and clarity. I have enjoyed the last two months more than I can remember having enjoyed anything in a long time.
The kids are cute and fun and wonderful. SURE, there are many, many days that I can't wait to get them into bed, but even those days are full of moments that make me laugh as I wash dishes or fold laundry and hear them playing in the other room. I see progress and growth in them and in myself. School is sailing along so smoothly. I've hardly had time to read (a book a month, if I'm lucky - working through Hidden Figures and Omnitopia Dawn right now) or pursue my own various goals- which, honestly, makes me reevaluate why I even have them, at this point. I've been so happy to simplify lately, to be able to mull over the Scriptures every morning, to make good meals for my family, and to plan more date nights with Brian. I'm training consistently in the basement, but there's no race or meet on the horizon. I'm content to dial in on school and life and do my best to excel at those. Simplify and Excel has been my theme for 2020.
Brian took the winter off tackling any house projects. There's enough to be done with plowing, hauling wood, and wrangling these kids. Having him more present has been incredible. And as for the two of us- we have changed. Our relationship faltered last year, and this year we are reinvesting in it with purpose. We are handling conflict with awareness and humility. I am so happy to be here, especially considering that TONIGHT we are flying to Las Vegas to check a great BIG item off our bucket list: the Grand Canyon! My parents are doing the heavy lifting for five days. Where would we be without them? I truly do not know. Brian has single-handedly packed our equipment, booked the rooms, and arranged flights and rentals. We'll be camping at the bottom for one night. I'm hoping to also hit Ribbon Falls while we're down there, but that'll be about thirty miles' hiking in two days. Hiking to the bottom is seven miles. We could just take it easy once we set up camp; the trail to Ribbon Falls is an additional thirteen-mile round trip. I'd love to do it, to make the most of our time down there, but the following morning we'll have a ten-mile hike back to the top to consider as well. I've trained and cut and am hoping we can come back and say we did it all! Brian is not so determined. He's more concerned with "enjoying the time" and "not being miserable." :) He may be right. We'll see.
Every morning, for the past week, I've woken up at four AM. Is it the day? Do we leave yet? It's so soon!
Everywhere I look, I see evidence of love. A fire burning in the fireplace. A stack of firewood in the garage. The sounds of wrestling kids and daddy upstairs. A sink full of dishes after an abundant meal. Cars and appliances that work reliably. This winter has been, for me, a season of abundant love. And I am so, so happy to be here.
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