Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Enough of this!

I miss blogging.

I've got about four half-finished blogs saved in my Blogger account, so no, I haven't forgotten about The Wonder Wife. I just haven't felt up to publishing any of it - even a story of Beau peeing on a mallard's nest and chasing said duck into the lake.

The truth is, I've been a slacker in general. The other night, do you know what Brian did? He came home and, while waiting for a dinner that I was madly throwing together, started washing the walls.

Washing the walls.

Now, I don't mean to make Brian sound bad, because really, he works sixty-hour weeks, but he does not do housework. He mows the lawn and cleans the gutters and organizes the garage, but he does not do minor chores like sorting laundry or sweeping the floor. Or, most certainly, washing the walls.

And since Beau had his vasectomy procedure done about a week and a half ago, he's been stressed, which is the apparent cause for his coat suddenly shedding like an autumn tree. This does not bode well for my floors, my allergies, and our general safety. At this very moment, great clumps of dust are multiplying beneath beds and furniture and soon they will emerge and attack, taking advantage of my weakened dog and my own unpreparedness. They will take over my house and soon, rule the world.

The other day I found a tick that had fed on Beau 'til it could eat no more, then had fallen off, engorged, and had begun pulling its massive body across my dining room floor, heading, no doubt, to lay lots of tiny tick eggs in the refrigerator vents. I was shocked. Engorged ticks crawling across one's floor is a sad, sad sign of terrible things to come.

To top it all off, my neighbor stopped by the other day and, bless her heart, told me she'd never seen my house so filthy. "I love it," she said, laughing. But I am sure not even a San Fransisco earthquake could have cracked a smile onto my face.

Now, of course you all know that the title of this blog is meant to be sarcastic, a self-deprecating stab at irony. However, right now it could be named "The Adequate Wife" and still accomplish that goal.

My, my.

Maybe, just maybe, if I post a blog and then get to work, then somehow I'll manage to log out after some hours, stand up, clean up, make dinner, put some makeup on, and get out of this funk. Maybe ending the neglect of this blog is the key. Maybe today, I can pretend to be The Wonder Wife.

Please, wish me luck.


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