Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Whoa, mama.

I LOVE being pregnant, so far. There have been a few unpleasant, short-lived symptoms and a few moments of panicky worry but all has proven itself to be well. I am sleeping like a rock all through the night, I'm walking the dog every day, I'm getting special attention from friends and family, Brian's being extra-sweet, the weather is perfect, and the baby moves more like a ballet dancer than a ninja. Besides the fact that I'm putting on pounds like a prize-fighter, I feel GREAT and for the most part, pretty normal!


I've turned into a monster of rage. Seriously. I have a fuse about 1/4 mm long. I thought that pregnancy would make me really weepy and emotional. After all, that's what I've always heard. NOPE. It makes me want to run drivers off the road because they're turning right, right in front of me goshdarnit, and do they have to SLOW DOWN TO MAKE THAT TURN?! 

A list of things that have set me off in the past, OH, 24 hours:
- Bo pulled on his leash.
- UPS raised their shipping rates.
- A car slowed down and turned right, after I switched to his lane to go FASTER.
- The riding stables canceled the activity I'd planned for the girl I mentor.
- Some chocolate fell off the toffee I made.
- The taco meat didn't cook fast enough.
- I broke one of the egg yolks for Brian's breakfast.
- The sun was shining in my eyes.
- Someone spilled buffalo sauce on the upholstery in the truck.
- I ran out of water RIGHT when I sat down to relax.
- My hand hurt while I was making the bed.
- The envelope I'd brought up from the basement didn't fit the things I wanted to ship.
- There was too much laundry.
- My normal jeans were too tight.
- My maternity jeans were too big.
- I bit my lip.
- My sandwich wasn't hot enough.
- I discovered I'd gained five pounds in three days.
- I had to go to the grocery store for the third time in three days.
- Anonymous people online can be total morons.
- Brian didn't wash a frying pan.
- Some food stuck to the silverware when the dishwasher was SUPPOSEDLY done cleaning it.
- Some of the dust from the vaccuum filter didn't make it into the garbage.
- The Q-tip Brian threw toward the bathroom trash didn't make it into the garbage.
- Newt Gingrich won South Carolina. 
- Newt Gingrich is actually running.
- Brian left two globs of toothpaste in the sink.
- I accidentally purchased CD-R disks instead of CD-RW disks.
- Brian didn't help me bring in the groceries. (He didn't know I needed help.)

So... I am not going to keep listing things. In my defense, when I say "set me off," I don't mean that I start raging around the house and throwing plates against the wall. Instead, without warning, a tidal wave of red-hot anger surges up inside my chest and I want to SCREAM! And punch something!

It's insanely bizarre. I'm not in a BAD mood... these things don't make me grouchy. I'll be humming along like a Disney princess, dancing about the house just loving life, and then ZOOM... instant angry energy, like an electric zap... then gone. Whammo!

It's frightening me! And I do believe it is frightening my husband. I am beginning to recognize a familiar, wide-eyed expression of shock and horror on Brian's face. Last night, after I apologized 2.4 seconds after slamming a door at his back, he said, "You know you're nuts, right?"

Pregnancy has turned me into a person who wants to slam the phone down on customer service people. And I WORK in customer service. What have I become?!


  1. Shaklee B Complex, 2xs/day. Problem solved!

  2. I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY THAT! I just knew it! I almost put it in the post!

  3. Mom's know best! Your's is so great. I don't recall the moments of rage but I do recall being happy then two seconds later crying. Hormonal shifts are crazy but seeing your baby after 9 months is so worth everything. So glad you have a happy moving baby. That was the part I loved the most.

  4. Oh, this post was so funny. :) I also dealt with the rage while pregnant. Sure, I had weepy times as well, but most of the times, my sentiment was, "I was dealing with idiots!"

    I had to laugh especially hard about Newt winning South Carolina! This Minnesota girl was also shocked by that! (But then again. . . not very shocked)

  5. Candice, YES, my mom is awesome! Thank you! The mood shifts ARE crazy. But like I said, I do love being pregnant. It's just all the ridiculous things that are happening around me that make me so riled up. :)

    Leah, thanks for your comment! I followed along with your blog until you went private... but it's always tricky to email someone and say, "Hello, I'm a perfect stranger who's never commented, but can I have an invite?" :) I hope the Newt thing is a flash in the pan.

  6. LMAO. I laughed so hard when reading this post Maegan that Jay told me to shut up b/c he was trying to sleep! HA - and he's NOT pregnant. You are am amazing writer!!! Keep it up!!! It's okay if you get mad at me...I hated everyone BUT you when I was pregnant. LOL

  7. What your pregnant??!! We really need to catch up! I found your blog while looking for you on facebook! Congratulations!