We all need more chocolate.

My blog posts have lately tended to... well, be all over the place. I don't get my computer out much. We don't have internet, so when I blog, I'm using my phone's hotspot. It takes a little bit of time and hassle to get out the laptop and set it all up, so when I get a chance to blog, I tend to cover a lotta ground.

This is one of those posts.

This has been quite a cool summer. I'm LOVING it. And if I'm loving it, well, Brian is losing his mind. We've had to turn our air conditioning on MAYBE twice the whole year so far. We open the windows at night and the house gets sufficiently cool for the next day (usually!) Only the last couple of nights it's gotten down to about 50. So right now, the temperature in the house is 61 degrees and I'm COLD! I'm sitting here in a sweatshirt and two pairs of socks and horking down the coffee like it's mid-November! What do you know?

I just returned from upstairs, where William is lying in bed - I suspect - awake. He's been waking up rather early every morning with an anguished WHINE, for lack of a better word. Nothing is wrong, except he's up and wants a change of scenery. He THINKS. Only, I know better. I know he needs more time in the cooker. Or else he's going to be all KINDS of grumpy, which is the kind of equation I'm not crazy about: Up an hour early + extra grumpy = extended morning nightmare. No thanks.

But the nice thing about having a 26-month old (almost!), instead of a 16-month old, is that I can go upstairs, change his diaper, put on his "silver D-D" (favorite lullaby CD), and gently lay him back down and tell him to rest for a little while longer. And he does! It makes me think about last summer, how tough it was having a 12-18 month old. As devastatingly CUTE as they are at that age, I feel it was the toughest stage for me with Will. He wasn't content anymore to ride around on my back or to sit in his command center or to stay in one spot. And he couldn't walk, but WANTED TO, so he'd fuss and cry if I didn't hold his two hands and help him around the house. He was a pickier eater, a worse sleeper, and all-around higher maintenance than he is now. I love this age right now. But at 12-18 months, they're just independent enough to want to get into things, but still very much a baby. I'm wondering if it will be different with Barrett. Already, Will seems to occupy him and entertain him so much. I wonder if Barrett will be engaged with William at that age, and if it will help make that stage a little smoother (because as much as I try to soak up the time with my kiddos... there are still many times I need them to play on their own so I can get some work done!)

Which brings me to my next point... Barrett LOVES watching Will. His face lights up when he sees his big brother. This is wonderful on so many levels and it truly delights me. Only, it's been causing a problem the past several days. Barrett loves to watch Will so much, it interrupts his eating. He gets quite distracted, even when he's hungry. But instead of 'popping off', he clamps his little gummy jaws down hard on me and twists his head to get a good look at Will. I suspect he wants to keep eating, but wants to enjoy the show.

WELL, BUDDY! That is not a working solution for both of us! I just don't know what to do. It hurts, and I get him off me as fast as I can, but it's seriously making me want to nurse less. It's at the point where I almost can't nurse him if Will is in the same room. Which is almost never, of course. I don't know what to do! He's so tiny still, that I'm not sure if he can make the connection if I pull his hair (a suggestion someone gave me - but I don't want to hurt him!). He certainly doesn't notice when I gasp in horror. Any suggestions would be mucho appreciated. Right now I am just not putting him back on the boob when he does it. I'm hoping he'll figure out that he can't eat and observe at the same time. It's either one or the other, friend.

Next topic. William has begun enjoying "reading" his books to himself. I love it, I love it so much. The short books that he's memorized (Duck & Goose books, for example), he can quote so that it almost sounds like he actually is reading them. But the books he knows less, it's funny to hear him try. Yesterday he was sitting on my bed while I was working in the kitchen. I asked him if he wanted to get down, but nope - books on momma's bed was his desire. So he was "reading" Green Eggs and Ham to himself: "Eggs! Ham!" *turns page* "Eggs! Ham!" *turns page* "Eggs! Ham!" For quite a while. Last evening, he was at it again, only with Another Monster at the End of the Book: "Monster end-a book!" *turns page* "Monster end-a book!" *turns page* "Monster end-a book!"

Switching gears again. Barrett is starting to laugh, a big baby belly laugh. He's quite ticklish. It's so cute I think I might pass out from the overload. I really love this kid. It's true that you can love the second just as much as you love the first, and your love is not diminished. Only, I don't KNOW Barrett as well! Sometimes he still seems like the "adorable stranger who moved in recently". I look at him in wonder. How could he look so different than Will? How could he be so equally cute? When Will was this age, everything was remarkable and exciting. At five months (hey! just realized Barrett's five months old today! Happy birthday, buddy!) William seemed so old. At five months, Barrett still seems like a newborn to me. "I can't believe it! My newborn is getting up on all fours!" Nope, Maegan. He is growing fast. Almost half a year of his life has gone by. For goodness' sake. It seemed like the last three months of my pregnancy took FOR-E-VER (I still feel a little panic when I remember it), and yet it's been five months with Barrett when it feels like he was born yesterday?! Not fair, life.

Okay. Moving on. Will went poop on his big boy potty yesterday. (Side note: I really recommend this book: My Big Boy Potty by Joanna Cole. It has really gotten Will engaged with going on his "big boy potty" (small plastic potty) rather than having to sit on the REALLY big boy potty (adult toilet) with me every time he needs to try to poop. (Extra side note: Will especially loves when Brian reads him this book, and it's very unique to hear Brian reading it to him over and over.) Anyway, I heartily extol this book. There's a "big girl" version too, which I really hope I can use one day!) So Will came to me and told me he needed to go poop. This was a bit new because we're still getting out of the habit of having to catch it, or having to guess when it might be coming and then spending several hours hopping on and off the potty to try to get him to go. (I laud that book for this change!) So I put his "big boy potty" in the living room by his toys and books. I resumed making dinner and doubted he was really going. Then I saw him peer between his legs, into the pot, and then look up and cry in delighted surprise at the top of his lungs: "I did it! I did it! I get choc-it!"

Sure enough, he'd done it. And chocolate he did receive. And it made him so very, very hyper. He ate the chocolate around 6 PM and two hours later, he was ready for bed and still tossing his blanket around like a rodeo star. He was actually SINGING, singing! He's never sung before! And what was he singing? A funny little tune that he'd made up in his own mind that went, "More choc-it! Mo-o-o-re choc-it! Mo-o-o-re choc-it!"

Unfortunately yesterday was also a day of tightly constrained temper for mama. I don't know why. (Yes, I think I do know why. Will was pushing buttons. Also, I am on a low carb diet and I just wanted something CRUNCHY, for the love of Pete. So that's why.) Anyway, I was just ready to snap the whole day. I made it through the day without snapping (well, almost, and when I did snap, after William had pretty much deliberately dumped a cup of water in the bathroom, I just quickly put him down for a nap, kissed him, and then threw dirty laundry down the stairs with all my might.) Brian had to work outside after dinner so I didn't really get a break from the kiddos. And by the time they were in bed I was so exhausted from keeping myself from snapping all day that I ate three huge handfuls of raw almonds while reading blogs on my phone in the dark dining room. All that to say, I didn't QUITE appreciate William's hyper self-expression, but this morning, I find it funny.