Drivel.

"Your blog post yesterday looked like an ad," said my mom. "And it sounded like an ad."

"Well, it wasn't," I said. "I use that stuff all the time. That's my thing, you know. I figure if I like to use something, I'll write about it."

"Hmm."

"Plus, I was way out of ideas for a blog post."

"You should have called me," she replied excitedly. "I get lots of ideas for blogs." She paused, then added cheerily, "And had I ever become a blogger, I would be a true proficient!"

"Hey, if you've got an idea, I'll take it," I said wearily.

"Hmm," she said again. "You should write about marriage. I could have some good quotes for you."

I SHOULD write about marriage. MY blog is called 'The Wonder WIFE'. Not 'The Wonder HOUSEKEEPER'.

Anyway, no ads for you all today. But no profundities about marriage, either. I was tired yesterday evening. I walked around the neighborhood in the afternoon heat for what felt like hours, delivering homeowner's association newsletters to residents and hissing at Bo to stop pulling on the leash. I'd been juggling his leash and collar remote in one hand and my big bag full of papers in another, all the while folding newsletters and carrying a tied-up bag of poop that Bo had deposited onto a neighbor's manicured brick landscaping after romping through the forest. Once home, I'd watched the appliance repair man determine that the problem with the leaky dishwasher was not, in fact, with the $25 gasket piece but with a dent in the door that would no doubt cost hundreds of dollars to replace. Then I watched him leave the leaking dishwasher again, with the promise of a later repair, and I wearily handwashed Dirty Dish Mountain.

A shower and a few chapters of a book and some nasal spray and some sleeping aid, and I was out like three baseball strikes. These, by the way, are days that I thank God we are waiting for kids. No one woke me up last night, not a soul, and I slept so deeply that I don't even remember my dreams. Okay, yes, you can call me a lightweight. My day, compared to most of yours, was a vacation. That's okay.

But I'm trying! I wasn't very good about posting on this blog in 2009. In fact, I've already soared beyond the number of posts I had last year, and it's only April. And I don't want frequent posting to be just a phase. So. Trying.

Anyway, whenever I need a blog idea, I go through the cache of photos I've got stored on my hard drive. These are usually things I meant to blog about but never got around to doing it. That's why you see posts about Spring '09 in February '10. Thought you might want to know.

Or, to get an idea, I'll go through the list of "draft" posts I've got stored in Blogger. These are things I started to write and then wondered why in the world anybody would want to read them. (Which begs the question: why would anybody want to read them now, when they're boring AND out-of-date?)

WHY DO I EVEN HAVE A BLOG?

Easy: so I can post nonsense like this. And pictures like this:

Ladies and gentlemen, my Tumor Bread.

Thanks for bravely forging into my tangled mass of thoughts. You've come through to the other side victoriously, and for that, I say: Happy Friday!