Thursday, April 23, 2015

Think on THESE things

I know I come here and gush about how cute I think my kids are, and how wonderful they are, and what a joy they are. It's all true. There are negative things about my kids, about parenting, really, but I don't come to this blog to record the negativity. I come because I know that twenty years from now, these things will be lost, and my human tendency to remember the big, bad moments will need a little help to remember the sweeter ones.

Instead of only remembering that yesterday I wasted time and had a terrible attitude, I'll also remember that while I was cutting Will's hair, I took a second to bend down and kiss the back of his head. Of course, I got my mouth FULL of hair. Yuck. Duh. I'll also remember how I crouched on my bed, pouncing, yelling BOO! and making the boys laugh and laugh.

Instead of only remembering that Will displayed a bit of a mean streak yesterday, I'll also remember how he went outside to help Daddy cut wood, and when I opened the front door and called, "Will?" his tiny voice came floating in the air, "Yeah? Oh! Okay!" and then he tromped into sight, all hatted and mittened up, to come in and take a bath. With his cheeks flushed and his eyes sparkling, he told me how it was snowing outside and how he was helping "Dad". I'll also remember how he woke up during his nap, whimpering, "I don't like [the movie] Cars." And how as I was leaving his room he began repeating his phrase: "For the Lord ('ward') has NOT given me a spirit of fear..."

Instead of only remembering that Brian and I got into an argument at dinner, I'll also remember that he played and played with the boys all evening, when he knew he needed to work outside. I heard him being the Big Bad Bear, playing catch with the kids, reading Barrett books, and driving cars. And although Will didn't feel like going outside with Daddy in the beginning of the evening, by the time Daddy really had to go, Will didn't want to leave his side. And then how later, Brian came and apologized and hugged me and we made up and then I crashed to sleep because I am so tired. 

And how I took another test, just for the fun of it, at 6+2, and smiled to myself to see the test line stronger than the control, and just pondered that there is a tiny stranger in my body, someone I know nothing about, and I love it dearly already.

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