Saturday, April 18, 2015

Today

Barrett likes to pull up on my legs and yell, "MAH! MAH!" I know the dude could walk if he wanted to but he's just like Will was - uninterested. Will walked at 15 months, and maybe Barrett will, too.

Barrett is so, so cute. He's using his sign language ("more" is a fist pounding an open hand, like a tough thug). He's not saying as many words as Will was, but I'm sure they'll come. He likes to wave at windows, whether he sees anyone through them or not, and he'll often look through a window and yell, "Bah! Bah!" Bo, of course.

He loves the soft, fuzzy side of his blanket, and will suck his thumb and poke the fuzzy side with the opposite finger. He still naps twice a day, but sometimes he skips the first one. He poops constantly and with great volume. My gosh. No early potty training going on here.

Will says, "Ope!" As in, "Ope! it's right here.... Ope! I forgot my blanket." We read Clifford and he'll say, "Ope! He's behind the carousel!" (which he pronounces 'carouself'). The other day he was shirtless, admiring himself in the mirror, and said, "There's a baby in my tummy. And look! I've got nipples on myself."

He takes on a teaching role when he's with other kids, pointing out the things I show him when we're alone. I think he's getting to be kind of bossy, too. "Samuel, don't press that circle button. Barrett, this howcopter is mine, so it's mine, so don't touch it."

He's interested in drones, helicopters, and toy guns (as well as all kinds of big equipment and machinery). He loves watching Daddy shoot his bow. He likes tools and frogs and throwing things. He is also a little cuddler. I'll lay on his bed from time to time and he'll roll over and play with my hair, or touch heads, or put his arms around me. He's polite: if I say "That train looks great, Will!" he'll say, "Fank you, mom."

Of course, he still has meltdowns. Yesterday he went potty and received two small pieces of chocolate Easter bunny. Without explanation, upon handing him the chocolate, he burst into sobs. When he couldn't get himself together (and with the chocolate softening in his hand), I took it away and led him into my bedroom, where he sat with his blanket on my bed and wailed for five minutes. Meanwhile, Barrett was extremely delicate, breaking down into sobs at the slightest infraction. And I, having gotten about 5 hours of sleep over the past three nights, was exhausted! It was one of those days. Still, of course, even on "those days", there were wonderful little moments - for instance, Barrett bringing me books to read to him as I lay on my back in the playroom, while Will and Daddy were outside shutting up the barn. He'd lay on his back on top of my chest and we'd read, the very simple picture books that Will's grown out of but that he had loved at Barrett's age. I've not done much of that with Barrett, by himself, because every time I start reading books, Will brings me one, and then Barrett grows disinterested. Barrett also said some new words yesterday. I had the bright idea (if I do say so myself!) to put my fingers to my mouth and say a word, and then to put my fingers to HIS mouth. That action then made him repeat the word, rather than me just saying, "Barrett, say 'car'." He said "JoJo", "car", and "all done". All words I wasn't sure if he could say.

I know this post is all over the place, but it's truly how my life feels these days. I'm not complaining, just trying to explain that my day-to-day really feels like a dream. (And not as in dream-come-true, more like meandering-subconscious night time dream.) There are concrete parts of the day, our schedule: going to Meijer, making dinner, naptime, breakfast. But the filler is always changing. What the kids play with, what chores I tackle, how we spend the morning. And then, on top of that, there are sprinkled throughout the day little cute moments and funny phrases that I tell myself I've got to remember but then at the end of the day I can barely even remember what we did together. Last night, as I lay on my back in the playroom, waiting for Barrett to bring me another book, I thought about blogging and felt a little sad that there wasn't really a way for me to capture my day. I can write down the cute things and the funny mannerisms but I can't translate what it's like to get the kids up from nap or to sit at the dinner table with them or to take a walk with them. It's sad that I won't remember these things, but it's wonderful that I get to experience them.

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