When I pop out a kid, I'd like her to be five right away, please.

Babysitting Amy and her friend, Rachel, today:

Rachel (5), somersaulting into a pillow: "Aliens stole my brain."

Me: "Are you serious?!"

Rachel: "Yup."

Me: "What did they replace it with?"

Rachel: "A dumber brain."

Amy (5), arms crossed: "Rachel thinks that aliens are real."

Rachel: "It's only because they are green and slimy when they come to MY house. When they come to AMY's house, they are invisible."

Me: "Amy, are you sure they didn't come to steal your brain, too?"

Amy, rolling her eyes: "Well, they didn't GET it."

Me: "Are you certain?"

Amy: "YES. When they tried to take MY brain, I kicked them in the head. And they DIED. So," (glaring at Rachel) "they are NOT real."